Wet Premiere
Starring Jann Carl
Written by Nemesoak
Written by Nemesoak
It was yet another movie opening. As was standard practice at "Entertainment Tonight", one of the staff (usually one of the ladies) was sent to cover it and get the usual non-committal comments from the celebrities in attendance. This time, it was Jann Carl's turn. As was the rule for covering such events, Jann was given what is called a "field wardrobe". This is a somewhat fancy dress or suit that a clothing company lends to "Entertainment Tonight" in order to get the company's name on the end credits. For this occasion, Jann was decked out in a bright shiny silver pantsuit, to which she added a pair of silver colored dressy sandal-type shoes. She looked great.
It was hot and muggy that evening when Jann and the TV crew arrived at the theater where the film, "Pool Boy" - a brain-dead teen comedy - was opening. Jann got some interviews with the stars of the film, who seemed over-optimistic about the quality of their movie. A little later, everybody piled into the the theater to watch the film.
Once inside, Jann noticed that the air conditioning was barely working. Adding to her discomfort was a problem with her seat. Evidently, something on it was bent and sitting in it did not do her back any good. The movie started and it was awful. The plot involved this teenage pool cleaner who went to extraordinary lengths to get his girl. The plot was implausible and even the gross-out jokes were duds. Besides from the first scene, there were no pools in the movie. Jann found that she couldn't decide which was more painful, sitting in the broken seat or watching the film.
After what seemed like an entire evening, the film ended. Jann did some interviews of the exiting celebrities. While she was sure none of them liked the film, not a single celebrity came out and said it was bad. Evidently, they did not want to anger the studio that put the film out.
Then everyone came to a fairly posh hotel for the premiere party. Since the film was called "Pool Boy", the studio had the party out by the pool. However, that was the extent of the pool theme. As the party was winding down and many of the guests left, Jann's back was still aching and the air was muggy. Since there weren't too many people left, Jann found herself staring at the pool. "A swim would be just the thing right now." Jann thought. But there was a problem. If she was wearing something from her closet at home, Jann could simply fake a fall into the pool. Unfortunately, she was wearing essentially a borrowed suit. If she jumped in, and the suit got damaged, her bosses would be angry, as would the clothing company, and Jann would have to pay. She didn't want that. As she resigned herself to her plight, she got an idea - a way to get into the pool and not be blamed for it.
Jann had just spotted one of the more prominent actors from a popular TV hospital show. This actor hated reporters in general, "Entertainment Tonight" in particular. And this fact would play a role in Jann's little plot.
She walked up to him and started a friendly conversation. The actor, who was a bit drunk, bellowed "Hey! You're from that show! You asked for it!".
With that, he picked Jann up like she weighed almost nothing. So far, everything was going to plan, but a little reverse psychology was needed.
"Please!" Jann cried out. "Don't throw me into the pool! You'll ruin my clothes!"
"Should have thought of that before you tried to bother me!" the actor angrily exclaimed as he carried Jann nearer to the pool.
There was some risk. Jann could wind up being thrown into the shallow end and that could mean an injury. So a little more acting was called for.
"Don't throw me in the deep end! I can't swim!" she pleaded. "Now's your chance to learn!" the actor yelled as he tossed Jann right into the deep end, exactly as she hoped.
Hitting the water, Jann felt instantly better as the cool water soaked into her outfit, refreshing her on this muggy evening, and the buoyancy of the water helped her back. Now to have a little fun at the actor's expense. Jann let herself slowly come to the surface - face down. Under the water, she could hear commotion and she almost giggled when the actor yelled "Omigod! I killed Jann Carl!" She then heard him bolt from the scene. Just before anyone could jump in, Jann quickly righted herself and caught her breath. A man, evidently the actor's agent, was poolside.
"I'm sorry," he said. "but he sometimes gets out of control, especially when he drinks. Are you all right?"
"Yes," Jann replied, "but I am a bit concerned about the suit. It's borrowed."
"I understand," the agent said. "Just send the bill and I'll see that it gets paid. No need to get the courts involved."
As the agent walked off, a hotel employee arrived.
"Ms. Carl," he said "please accept our apologies for what happened? Is there anything we can do to make it up to you?"
Jann thought and answered "Well, could I stay in a bit longer. I can't get any more wet than this and the water is so nice."
"All right," the employee responded, "I'll get you some towels."
Jann then resumed her swimming and floating. The shiny silver color of her suit made her look like a fish and it clung tightly to her, showing off her contours. However, the material was quite opaque and there was no see-through. But Jann didn't mind since this really wasn't the place to show off. None of the remaining partyers joined her, mostly because they were too busy getting drunk.
Eventually, Jann got out of the pool. As she got out, her suit became very form-fitting. Then it hit Jann. The suit! She had forgotten that it might be ruined. Thinking quickly, Jann had another idea.
Finding the hotel employee, she asked him if the hotel would be able to clean outfits. "Yes," he responded, "I believe we can save your suit."
Jann was escorted to a vacant room where she changed out of her wet outfit and into a bathrobe. She then hung the wet clothes on the knob. While she was waiting, Jann took a quick shower to rinse off the chlorine. After the shower, she dried off, got back into the robe, and turned on the TV. A short while later, her suit came back - dry and totally undamaged.
"Thank you!" Jann told the employee. She then gave him a large tip. As he left, Jann shut the door and changed back into her suit. She then left the hotel, relieved that she was able to enjoy a wet adventure and not get into any trouble.
It was hot and muggy that evening when Jann and the TV crew arrived at the theater where the film, "Pool Boy" - a brain-dead teen comedy - was opening. Jann got some interviews with the stars of the film, who seemed over-optimistic about the quality of their movie. A little later, everybody piled into the the theater to watch the film.
Once inside, Jann noticed that the air conditioning was barely working. Adding to her discomfort was a problem with her seat. Evidently, something on it was bent and sitting in it did not do her back any good. The movie started and it was awful. The plot involved this teenage pool cleaner who went to extraordinary lengths to get his girl. The plot was implausible and even the gross-out jokes were duds. Besides from the first scene, there were no pools in the movie. Jann found that she couldn't decide which was more painful, sitting in the broken seat or watching the film.
After what seemed like an entire evening, the film ended. Jann did some interviews of the exiting celebrities. While she was sure none of them liked the film, not a single celebrity came out and said it was bad. Evidently, they did not want to anger the studio that put the film out.
Then everyone came to a fairly posh hotel for the premiere party. Since the film was called "Pool Boy", the studio had the party out by the pool. However, that was the extent of the pool theme. As the party was winding down and many of the guests left, Jann's back was still aching and the air was muggy. Since there weren't too many people left, Jann found herself staring at the pool. "A swim would be just the thing right now." Jann thought. But there was a problem. If she was wearing something from her closet at home, Jann could simply fake a fall into the pool. Unfortunately, she was wearing essentially a borrowed suit. If she jumped in, and the suit got damaged, her bosses would be angry, as would the clothing company, and Jann would have to pay. She didn't want that. As she resigned herself to her plight, she got an idea - a way to get into the pool and not be blamed for it.
Jann had just spotted one of the more prominent actors from a popular TV hospital show. This actor hated reporters in general, "Entertainment Tonight" in particular. And this fact would play a role in Jann's little plot.
She walked up to him and started a friendly conversation. The actor, who was a bit drunk, bellowed "Hey! You're from that show! You asked for it!".
With that, he picked Jann up like she weighed almost nothing. So far, everything was going to plan, but a little reverse psychology was needed.
"Please!" Jann cried out. "Don't throw me into the pool! You'll ruin my clothes!"
"Should have thought of that before you tried to bother me!" the actor angrily exclaimed as he carried Jann nearer to the pool.
There was some risk. Jann could wind up being thrown into the shallow end and that could mean an injury. So a little more acting was called for.
"Don't throw me in the deep end! I can't swim!" she pleaded. "Now's your chance to learn!" the actor yelled as he tossed Jann right into the deep end, exactly as she hoped.
Hitting the water, Jann felt instantly better as the cool water soaked into her outfit, refreshing her on this muggy evening, and the buoyancy of the water helped her back. Now to have a little fun at the actor's expense. Jann let herself slowly come to the surface - face down. Under the water, she could hear commotion and she almost giggled when the actor yelled "Omigod! I killed Jann Carl!" She then heard him bolt from the scene. Just before anyone could jump in, Jann quickly righted herself and caught her breath. A man, evidently the actor's agent, was poolside.
"I'm sorry," he said. "but he sometimes gets out of control, especially when he drinks. Are you all right?"
"Yes," Jann replied, "but I am a bit concerned about the suit. It's borrowed."
"I understand," the agent said. "Just send the bill and I'll see that it gets paid. No need to get the courts involved."
As the agent walked off, a hotel employee arrived.
"Ms. Carl," he said "please accept our apologies for what happened? Is there anything we can do to make it up to you?"
Jann thought and answered "Well, could I stay in a bit longer. I can't get any more wet than this and the water is so nice."
"All right," the employee responded, "I'll get you some towels."
Jann then resumed her swimming and floating. The shiny silver color of her suit made her look like a fish and it clung tightly to her, showing off her contours. However, the material was quite opaque and there was no see-through. But Jann didn't mind since this really wasn't the place to show off. None of the remaining partyers joined her, mostly because they were too busy getting drunk.
Eventually, Jann got out of the pool. As she got out, her suit became very form-fitting. Then it hit Jann. The suit! She had forgotten that it might be ruined. Thinking quickly, Jann had another idea.
Finding the hotel employee, she asked him if the hotel would be able to clean outfits. "Yes," he responded, "I believe we can save your suit."
Jann was escorted to a vacant room where she changed out of her wet outfit and into a bathrobe. She then hung the wet clothes on the knob. While she was waiting, Jann took a quick shower to rinse off the chlorine. After the shower, she dried off, got back into the robe, and turned on the TV. A short while later, her suit came back - dry and totally undamaged.
"Thank you!" Jann told the employee. She then gave him a large tip. As he left, Jann shut the door and changed back into her suit. She then left the hotel, relieved that she was able to enjoy a wet adventure and not get into any trouble.
