The Wet Universe
Starring Mary Hart
Written by Nemesoak
Written by Nemesoak
In a secret lab somewhere in the United States, a group of scientists were attempting an unusual experiment. By a method involving quantum mechanics, lots of expensive equipment, and enormous quantities of electricity, they were able to prop open a microscopic wormhole. While no physical object could go through such a wormhole, a TV signal could. The experiment was to see if it was possible to pick up TV signals from a parallel universe. There were some successes, such as 10 seconds of signal from a world where the American Revolution never took place. Tonight's experiment, aided by improved interference filters, would try to pick up signals from an earlier success. Last week, the team succeeded in picking up 30 seconds of news from an alternate universe. The news story concerned the sweep by the Aqua party in recent Australian elections and a man named Daxus being elected Prime Minister. This warranted another look.
The equipment was fired up, and soon a signal was received.
"Great!" yelled the senior scientist, "Millions of dollars in equipment just to pick up a rerun of 'Coach'."
"I recognize this episode!" responded a younger technician. "This is the one where Mary Hart interviews Coach Fox. Looks like we're near the end of it."
A commercial break came and did not seem out of the ordinary except that it looked like a few minutes from a WAMTEC TV commercial cliptape.
"See?" asked the young technician, "what are the chances of seeing those commercials together in such a short span of time?"
"So?", responded the senior scientist, "that doesn't prove anything. We could still be picking up one of our TV stations."
The technician mentioned that the show was coming back on. "Hey! I don't recall this scene! I think we got a keeper!"
On the screen, they saw a scene later in the afternoon after the interview. Mary came back and went to Coach Fox.
Mary said "I'm sorry about accidentally tossing your fishing rod into the lake. I want to make it up to you."
Fox replied "Thanks. It wasn't that expensive. You don't really need to pay for it."
"Who said that?" Mary answered. "I'm going to help get it back."
"That's great," Fox commented, "I'll get the rowboat and something to grab it with."
"No need." Mary said.
Then, Mary, who was still wearing her tan jacket, white blouse, black and yellow print skirt, and shoes, removed her jacket and handed it to Fox. Then she proceeded to walk towards the lake edge. To the great astonishment of the watching scientists, she didn't stop and walked right into the lake.
When she was almost up to her knees, the shot changed and you saw the scene from a half-submerged point of view. As Mary went deeper, her skirt could be clearly seen to rise until it was three-quarters of the way up her thighs and the water was halfway up her abdomen.
The shot then changed to a surface view. When the water got chest-deep, Mary began to swim. Her white blouse became slightly translucent and the color and general shape of her bra were visible. Evidently, sitcoms in this universe were more conservative than one would expect.
The scientists watched, practically drooling, as Mary approached the site where she thought the rod was. Taking a deep breath, she then dove under, the last of her being seen were her lovely legs as they slipped beneath the surface.
Then the shot switched to an underwater view of Mary at the bottom picking up the rod.
"Now, that's something you don't see in a sitcom!" the technician commented.
The shot changed to the surface view as Mary surfaced, triumphantly holding the rod. She then swam back for shore and waded out to present the rod to Fox. The camera lingered on Mary as she waded out, her skirt and blouse clinging tightly to her body.
Fox said "Thanks, but you didn't have to do that!"
"I know," replied Mary, "but it gave me a chance to check something out. I read on the Internet that this type of swimming had, shall we say, certain positive effects. I wanted to try it out myself before I did it with my husband." Giving Fox a once-over, Mary continued, "and judging by the reaction, I think he'll enjoy it. By the way, could I go back in and swim some more?"
Still in awe, Fox said "Sure. I'll get some towels for when you get out. Hey, how are you going to explain your bedraggled outfit?"
"That's easy!" Mary answered. "I'll just say I was riding in your rowboat and it capsized."
At that moment, the signal was lost, much to the disappointment of the scientists. Regaining composure, the senior scientist asked "Did we get it on tape?"
"Yes!" replied the technician, "I also made notes of the instrument settings so we can check this universe, which we should call 'The Wet Universe' any time we like. In fact, I think we should check this one out frequently."
"I agree," commented the scientist "Looks like there is lots of interest there."
The equipment was fired up, and soon a signal was received.
"Great!" yelled the senior scientist, "Millions of dollars in equipment just to pick up a rerun of 'Coach'."
"I recognize this episode!" responded a younger technician. "This is the one where Mary Hart interviews Coach Fox. Looks like we're near the end of it."
A commercial break came and did not seem out of the ordinary except that it looked like a few minutes from a WAMTEC TV commercial cliptape.
"See?" asked the young technician, "what are the chances of seeing those commercials together in such a short span of time?"
"So?", responded the senior scientist, "that doesn't prove anything. We could still be picking up one of our TV stations."
The technician mentioned that the show was coming back on. "Hey! I don't recall this scene! I think we got a keeper!"
On the screen, they saw a scene later in the afternoon after the interview. Mary came back and went to Coach Fox.
Mary said "I'm sorry about accidentally tossing your fishing rod into the lake. I want to make it up to you."
Fox replied "Thanks. It wasn't that expensive. You don't really need to pay for it."
"Who said that?" Mary answered. "I'm going to help get it back."
"That's great," Fox commented, "I'll get the rowboat and something to grab it with."
"No need." Mary said.
Then, Mary, who was still wearing her tan jacket, white blouse, black and yellow print skirt, and shoes, removed her jacket and handed it to Fox. Then she proceeded to walk towards the lake edge. To the great astonishment of the watching scientists, she didn't stop and walked right into the lake.
When she was almost up to her knees, the shot changed and you saw the scene from a half-submerged point of view. As Mary went deeper, her skirt could be clearly seen to rise until it was three-quarters of the way up her thighs and the water was halfway up her abdomen.
The shot then changed to a surface view. When the water got chest-deep, Mary began to swim. Her white blouse became slightly translucent and the color and general shape of her bra were visible. Evidently, sitcoms in this universe were more conservative than one would expect.
The scientists watched, practically drooling, as Mary approached the site where she thought the rod was. Taking a deep breath, she then dove under, the last of her being seen were her lovely legs as they slipped beneath the surface.
Then the shot switched to an underwater view of Mary at the bottom picking up the rod.
"Now, that's something you don't see in a sitcom!" the technician commented.
The shot changed to the surface view as Mary surfaced, triumphantly holding the rod. She then swam back for shore and waded out to present the rod to Fox. The camera lingered on Mary as she waded out, her skirt and blouse clinging tightly to her body.
Fox said "Thanks, but you didn't have to do that!"
"I know," replied Mary, "but it gave me a chance to check something out. I read on the Internet that this type of swimming had, shall we say, certain positive effects. I wanted to try it out myself before I did it with my husband." Giving Fox a once-over, Mary continued, "and judging by the reaction, I think he'll enjoy it. By the way, could I go back in and swim some more?"
Still in awe, Fox said "Sure. I'll get some towels for when you get out. Hey, how are you going to explain your bedraggled outfit?"
"That's easy!" Mary answered. "I'll just say I was riding in your rowboat and it capsized."
At that moment, the signal was lost, much to the disappointment of the scientists. Regaining composure, the senior scientist asked "Did we get it on tape?"
"Yes!" replied the technician, "I also made notes of the instrument settings so we can check this universe, which we should call 'The Wet Universe' any time we like. In fact, I think we should check this one out frequently."
"I agree," commented the scientist "Looks like there is lots of interest there."
